Case Closed!

The Mariska Hargitay and Angie Harmon of newsletters leaves no stone unturned in pursuit of truth, justice, and Goldfish crackers.

What would make the perfect women’s magazine? Juicy yarns, hot goss, big ideas, deeply personal examinations of women’s lives—and none of the advertiser obligations. Welcome to the Spread, where every week two editors read, listen, and watch it all, and deliver only the best to your inbox.

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Spreadwatchers,

You may recall that last week, your Spreaditors had an itch to scratch, a thorn in our sides, a bee in our beribboned bonnets about… the snack access in Virginia Sole-Smith’s kitchen. (CliffsNotes: In the New York Times profile of VSS—who has made it her mission to lead the way in raising kids who are not neurotic about food, eating, and weight—the snack bins in her own kitchen were photographed open to the elements, unprotected from tiny hands, in fact radically lid-free: Did this indicate a total total-access Cheez-It policy in the household? (You may be wondering, does anybody actually care, to which we say, 🙋‍♀️🙋‍♀️.) After a thorough Spread Original Investigation™️, we can report that we have gotten to the bottom of, well, everything.

Speaking exclusively to the Spread, Virginia Sole-Smith herself sets the record straight: 

“As anyone who has worked in women's magazines knows, photos are fiction and the lids were absolutely removed for the shoot, to better capture the array of snack crackers. I am extremely anti-rodent and pro-airtight containers for any pantry item. (The whole reason we have the cute containers in the first place is because we live in the woods and mice will find their way to any food item left in its natural cardboard state.)”

She goes further: 

“The article also misreported that my kids have ‘unlimited’ access to the snack pantry. They help themselves from there for afternoon snacks (and elevenses at the weekend), but we also have designated mealtimes where I'm in charge of what's served.” 

Don’t know about you, but we will sleep better at night knowing that over in Cold Spring, the snacks are airtight—and nobody’s expecting our kids to keep their hands out of the cookie jar of their own free will because, nope!

~This has been a Spread Original Investigation™️.~

In all seriousness, while we’re here together let’s acknowledge that tomorrow a six-week abortion ban will go into effect in Florida, stripping the rights of millions of women. It’s a devastating blow to the Southeast, where access has already been decimated in so many states. To get a grasp of the magnitude of the Florida ban, we recommend this story in the New York Times. And as always, we point you toward Jessica Valenti’s lord’s-work Substack, Abortion, Every Day, for specialized news on what’s happening in the fight for abortion access as well as practical advice on how best to advocate and where to donate. 

We store our love for you in the airtight Tupperware of our hearts, 

Rachel & Maggie 

P.S. Like us? Love us? Want some more of us? Hit that heart button, please’m. 

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Here’s what paid subscribers are doing back handsprings over this week: 

• A Hollywood icon resurfaces after decades in the wilds of Texas

• Alison Roman owes this woman a big thank-you

• We finally get to the bottom of gynecological “egg whites”

• The unflinching fashion show we actually like

• More Texas: The sports scandal that rocked Netflix’s most wholesome hit

• Did you pay $10K to freeze your eggs? Read this.